Life Changes...
Remeber the movie Reality Bites? I loved that movie, mainly b/c of the characters but also because it's so true. Here were these group of people who had no idea what was next for them. This too is how I feel. This past week has been a week of rude awakenings. Already feeling disconnected to the world I was once so much apart and learning my husband is ridiculed and called the most hateful names in the book b/c he won't participate in nightly jaunts to strip clubs and gambling halls I suddenly found myself derailing. The next thing I know I am curled up in the fetal position unable to breathe and crying out to God. This isn't what I signed up for. Living in Florida was supposed to mean sun and fun wasn't it? This was not fun. No friends, no church home, no social life, I was drowning in a sea of self pity. When I finished crying and got up off the floor I was thinking we had made a mistake. After all how am I supposed to start all over again, how will this affect the kids, how can I be expected to live among the ungodly? Aren't I better than that, haven't I served my time. Then it hit me!!! How dare I! I had been living in a bubble, in a private little comfortable world with no room for anyone else. Well you could join if you were a christian and "knew" the Lord. That is pathetic. I am no better than anyone, I just happen to know the void in my life can only be filled by truly seeking the One who created me. There is a lost, lonely, isolated world out there and I know God has called me to show them they can fill the void permanently. I am finally learning to think outside the walls of church. It's not enough share God's love with your "christian" friends. They already know it if they attend church. You have to reach outside of those walls and find a way to get connected with the rest of the world who are literally dying to meet a Saviour. I have never done this before and I won't lie, I am scared to death. And that is the way the enemy wants me to stay. He will do whatever he can to stop it and I am determined not to be scared anymore. Besides my husband, my inspiration has come from this amazing book I am reading called The Gutter by Craig Gross. I challenge you to pick up a copy as soon as you can. This book will change your thinking entirely, it did mine. Relationship is what leads people to repentance not condemnation. I know most of what I am saying you already know or have heard a million times but sometimes its that one more time and then CLICK, the lights go on. I am challenging you to get out of your bubble and seek the lost or ask God what you can do to plant a seed in someone's life. It's going to be uncomfortable at first but if all you have in your life right now is comfort then something is wrong.
