Redneck Valentine
Collards is green, my dog's name is BlueAnd I'm so lucky, to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flappin' in the breezeSofter than Blue's, and without all them fleas.
Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flappin' in the breezeSofter than Blue's, and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in MayYou ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfyin' as okry, jist a-fryin' in the panYo're as fragrant as snuff, right out of the can.
Yo're as satisfyin' as okry, jist a-fryin' in the panYo're as fragrant as snuff, right out of the can.
You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proudI hold my head high, when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore armsWell, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore armsWell, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still, them fellers at work, they all want to knowWhat I did to deserve, such a purdy young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore manTo patch up life's troubles, and fix what you can.
Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore manTo patch up life's troubles, and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug, a-buzzin' overheadYou ain't mean like those far ants, I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth, like a plaid flannel shirtYou spark up my life, more than a fresh load of dirt.
Cut from the best cloth, like a plaid flannel shirtYou spark up my life, more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight, like a padded gun rackMy life is complete, ain't nuthin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a R.C. cold drinkWe go together, like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate, for Valentine's DayThey git it at Target, it's romantic that way.
Some men, they buy chocolate, for Valentine's DayThey git it at Target, it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses, on that special dayFrom the cooler at Winn-Dixie; "That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds, from a flea market booth"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.
Some men buy fine diamonds, from a flea market booth"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, Honey, these just plain won't do.'Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odormore useful than diamonds...it's a new trollin' motor!!
I got you a gift, without taste nor odormore useful than diamonds...it's a new trollin' motor!!
